Two sides of one secret
by PrincessLille
Summary: I'm so sorry... I'm sorry Red" he'd said and it had changed everything. Now a week after he returned to Seattle he regrets saying it. When a red haired girl that reminds him of his love is admitted to SGH he gets the chance to make up for this mistake.
1. Prologue

**So this is the second story i post here, I hope you like this one. It's a Mark/Addison story although this prologue is about the time when Addison was married to Derek. The following chapter will start about a week after the crossover.  
And I also wanna thank my beta LoveandLearn!! So now I guess you can start reading... =D  
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_**Prologue **_

Addison and Derek were late for the party at the Montgomery house. The young couple sat in their car driving through New York. They weren't all too thrilled about how they would have to spend their day.

The last time Addison had seen her parents was three months prior, and as assumed, things hadn't gone too well. They had gotten in an argument about her marriage (or Derek more specifically.) And now they were invited to a huge party for Bizzy's birthday in the Montgomery mansion. She was nervous about it, she'd never felt comfortable in that at house, at least not since Derek came around.  
Not only did the Captain and Bizzy didn't like her husband but neither did the rest of the Montgomery family. All of Addison's aunts, uncles and cousins were not too fond of him . They all thought that it was beneath a Montgomery's standard to marry someone like Derek Shepherd. The red haired woman couldn't sit still in the front seat while her husband drove on.

"They're your family, no need to be nervous, honey." he smiled at her.

"They're my family who doesn't like you." she replied simply.

That was true and Derek knew it, so there was nothing he could say to make her feel better. He could only hope that the visit would end differently, better than usual.

"Don't you think they want a birthday party without any arguing?"he tried again after a few minutes to calm her.

"Oh of course, our wedding party didn't stop them from arguing but this stupid birthday party will. Do you really believe what you've just said?" she looked at him raising her right eyebrow. That was clear, she didn't want to calm down, well he couldn't blame her.

The next minutes they drove in silence, Addison looked out of the window thinking about what could happen at the party and what she could do to avoid a new argument with her family. And Derek tried to distract himself from the thought of a party he wasn't even welcome to.

About 15 minutes later their car pulled into the driveway of a big house, the house in which Addison had spent her childhood together with her older brother Archer. The couple got out of the car and walked towards the front door, not noticing a little girl standing behind the hedge with her nanny. The five year old watched them going into the house, then she looked up to her black haired nanny.

"That's her?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah, that's her.... that is Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery..." her nanny answered stroking over the little girl's red hair.

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**That was the prologue and i guess you've got something to say?! Please, I wanna know so badly whats on your mind and that means REVIEW!!**


	2. Emergency

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! I didn't want to let you wait too long for the first chapter so here it is!  
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_**Chapter 1: Emergency  
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_"I can't fall in love with a man who's in love with someone else, that much i know. I can't do that again. So please, if you're still in love with the Grey girl than go back to Seattle. But if you're not... if you're serious... and you want me... then ask again." she said full of hope, hoping not to lose another guy to a looked deep into his eyes while he was lying in bed with her. He wanted to say something like" I love you Addison, you, not Lexie." so badly but when he opened his mouth to speak, he heard himself say something else."I__'m so sorry... I'm sorry Red__" H__e saw in her eyes that he'd broken her heart. He wanted to scream and shout out loud that he loved her but his mouth refused to move and didn't let him say a single word.  
_

When he woke up a single tear rolled down his cheek. Yet again, he'd dreamed of his night in LA, of the conversation, of what turned out to be the biggest mistake he'd ever made. It wasn't the first time he woke up from this dream. Since the day Lexie had told him about her night with Karev (almost a week had past since then), he'd relived the evening in LA over and over again in his dreams, every single night.

What a fool had he been back then, he'd known that there were still these strong feelings for Addison but he'd really thought that he and Lexie would last, in the end she had been the one to change him, not a certain red haired. And now his life was broken into fragments. Addison would never take him back, and that was his own fault, he'd broken her heart. Lexie on the other hand would love to get back together with him but he was way too hurt, he just couldn't forgive her. How could he even think of giving her a second chance? She'd broken up because of his pregnant daughter and after that she'd screwed Karev while he was worried about his new found daughter and his unborn grandchild.

But thinking about it made him feel guilty, who was he to not give her a second chance? He was Mark Sloan, the man who probably slept with every nurse in Seattle and New York, the man who begged Addison for a second, a third and even a fourth chance, and she'd given him these chances because she'd really loved him. So didn't that mean he was supposed to give the relationship with Lexie another try? If he was really in love with her he would do the same thing Addison had done, then he would go back to little Grey and tell her that he forgives her, but he couldn't.

The last week had been a nightmare, he felt as if he'd lost his entire life within a single week. Addison was gone and so was Lexie, the two women he'd truly loved were gone and both women had chosen the same guy to break him, Alex Karev. The only difference was that he had been willing to forgive the one, Addison, because she had always been the women of his dreams. Aware of his loss it had been incredibly hard to get up in the mornings the previous seven days, and today wasn't easier either. He groaned when he got up and walked into the shower. He went through the surgeries he would have to perform later that day, the first one would start in about three hours. The time he spend in the OR was the only time he didn't feel the pain of loosing his life. So he agreed to do as many surgeries as possible to just to distract himself from reality, since he'd returned from LA.

When he was about to make breakfast he heard a knock at the door. Opening the door, he saw Callie and Arizona standing there.

"Didn't you hear your pager?Callie asked.

"Mhmm... no, I was in the shower..."

"Well what ever, we have to go. There was an accident and the ER will be full of victims within minutes! Grab your jacket and come, We've to hurry up! Arizona explained quickly, looking on her watch every now and then. This came just at the right time, a good distraction as Mark thought. So he didn't think long about it and drove together with Callie and Arizona to Seattle Grace Hospital.

Arizona had been right, when they arrived the ER was already full of patients, some with only a few bruises but others were really badly injured.

"Sloan, there you are! We need you in here!" Owen Hunt shouted as soon as he'd spotted his colleague. Mark hurried into the room asking Hunt to tell him about the patient.

"It's a young woman, maybe 19 or already 20, she was in the car accident and has head injuries. I already paged Shepherd but I need to scrub in to a emergency surgery and need an attending in here until Shepherd comes." and with that Hunt was gone. Mark wanted to examine the patient and turned around prepared for everything to see but when he saw her, the girl lying there in all her blood, his heart stopped for a moment.

The first thing that caught his attention was her hair, hair in a red he'd only seen one person with, Addison. Even through all the blood he could see her perfect face, at first he really thought Addison lay there, unconscious, but looking closely at the patient he noticed that it couldn't be her. Hunt had been right the girl, the young woman really seemed to be around the age of 19, but she looked so much like Addison had looked in med school.

How was that possible? He'd known Addison for more than 20 years and he would know if she had a daughter, right? He thought_ '__how could this girl look so much like her if she wasn't even her daughter'_Maybe he only imagined that this girl bore so much resemblance to his best friend's ex-wife. Maybe he was slowly going insane. He pushed away the thought of this girl being in some kind relation to the woman he loved and started to examine her.

She had a big dirty wound at her left temple that was bleeding heavily. It was not until now that he noticed the other doctors, residents and interns, in the room. He gave them some instructions to swab the wound and hoped Derek would come soon because it wasn't a good sign that she was unconscious. Well he knew Derek would be already there if Hunt thought the injuries to her head were bad enough, so he actually had no reason to worry that much. Thinking about it he'd never cared that much about a patient before, perhaps the resemblance to Addison was the reason he did now.  


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**And now you should review because I wanna know what you think about this first chapter!!  
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	3. Can't get her out of my head

**I'm so happy that I got so many reviews, I've never got so many before! I hope you guys will stick with this story and review. I'm sick and at home for the whole week so I've got time to write more and that's why I thought I should update because once I'm back at school you guys won't get a chapter every 2 or 3 days... but now enjoy reading!  
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_**Chapter 2**_

"What?... Addison?" Derek had just entered the room and the first thing that caught his eye was also the red hair of the unconscious girl. He hurried to her side but her familiar face froze him again. Mark could tell that he and Derek were sharing the same thoughts.

"Is it just me or does this girl look like a younger version Addison?" Derek asked, not looking away from her.

"Glad you think so too... I thought I was going insane." Mark replied feeling relieved in some kind.

"Ehhr.. Dr. Shepherd, aren't you suppose to examine her injuries?" a young intern asked insecurly when neither Mark nor Derek did anything to treat their patient. With that Derek snapped back into doctor mode and stepped closer to the dirty wound on the girl's head.

Mark was still lost in his thoughts, there were so many questions. He was surprisingly very worried, he hoped with all his heart that there was only the obvious wound and no brain damage. Why did he care? That was totally unprofessional, he was a doctor, he wasn't supposed to get emotionally involved. Things got too complicated when the doctor became emotionally involved, everything became harder. That was the reason doctors were not suppose to treat their family, but this girl, she didn't belong to his family... so theoretically he could treat the girl, but technically he couldn't... he was confused. At that moment the door opened and Lexie Grey came in. She didn't notice the patient as Mark could tell from her first words.

"Dr. Sloan... uhm... I..." since they'd broken up there had been a awkward silence between the two of them.

"Ah, Dr. Grey there you are! Could you please take the patient to a CT?" Derek asked, taking the Patient's file when his sister in law came in.

"Uhm sure Dr. Shepherd..." she said taking her eyes off her former boyfriend.

"Uhm Dr. Sloan... Dr. Karev asked for you, he has a patient with a burn." she added, not paying attention the patient that was occupying the room.

Mark was gone by the time that Lexie took note of the patient's appearance. He wasn't there when she came to the conclusion that the reason this girl looked so familiar was because she was almost identical to the woman once claimed Mark's heart. At least he wasn't there physically, mentally it was the only place he could be.

He made this way through the ER in search of the patient he was suppose to consult with. With seconds he found who he was looking for, a man who had been burned to the core. He need treatment, he needed a savior and his only hope was Mark. Any other day this man would have been a perfect distraction for Mark, more than enough to distract him from his thoughts. That did not apply today. Today even a man who'd literally been cooked alive was not enough to get clear his thoughts. In fact, it would be unfair to treat this man in he condition that Mark was in, if anything he'd only make matters worse.

"Dude..." Alex Karev began, staring at him with his hands in the air. "He guy is charred, do something."

"Dr. Karev." Mark cleared his thought, becoming more aware of his surroundings. "I heard Dr. Bailey is looking for you, maybe you should go find her. It might be urgent." that was a lie. Of course, a perfect lie that no one could see through.

Karev couldn't argue, he'd learned not to. Especially when Mark Sloan looked as he did at that very second. It couldn't end well for Alex, he'd end up in the morgue suturing people closed after autopsies. So he walked away in search of his superiors.

Meanwhile Callie Torres caught a glance of Mark standing aimless at his patients side while the residents did all the work, the work that he was suppose to be doing. She knew that his mind was somewhere else. She glanced down at a young brown haired girl with a broken leg, Arizona was evaluating the child's condition while Callie examine the break. She was no longer needed, she knew that for a fact but she asked anyway.

"Do you need me in here or can I step out for a few minutes?" she asked her girlfriend and went out the room when Arizona said she could handle it alone.

"What is it?" Callie asked.

"Well there is this girl... she was in the accident..." Mark didn't know how to tell her.

"What's with the girl? Do you know her?" she was concerned.

"No, not really... but she reminds me of someone..."

"She reminds you of someone?"

"Addison, she reminds me of Addison..."

"Are you that desperate? Do you see now in every woman Addison?" Callie started laughing.

"No, she really looks like Addison... you can ask Derek he agrees with me. This girl's hair is just as red as Addison's is." Mark tried to convince her.

"Really? And who is this girl?" she stopped laughing.

"That's my point, we don't know... and it's killing me. What if this girl is Addie's daughter?"

"Don't you think someone would have noticed if she'd been pregnant?"

"This girl is about 19... "

"She's about 19? For how long do you know Addison, could it be her daughter?"

"I don't know...of course I thought that it can't be her daughter, I know her for more than 20 years now and so does Derek. But how would you explain that they look so much alike?"

"I don't know... can we talk about this later? You certainly have patients don't you?"

"Since I saw this girl I can't think about anything else but this girl. My thought's circle around her. I need to know who she is..." he couldn't think of anything else that was as important as to know who the girl was.

"Let's say she is Addison's daughter in which way has it an effect on you?" she asked.

"If she's her daughter that means she kept it a secret... I guess I would be disappointed because she didn't tell me..." he looked sad.

"Would you be disappointed because she didn't tell you or because she has a kid but not your kid? It can't be your kid, right?" she wasn't sure if Mark and Addison had something going on in med school regarding their history it wouldn't be astonishing.

"No I've never slept with her until the night Derek walked in on us... this girl couldn't be my and Addison's daughter..."

"Would you be disappointed because she didn't tell you or because she has a kid but not your kid? Has it something to do with the fact that she aborted your baby and probably had kept the baby of another guy?" Callie was sure that it was like that but wanted to hear what Mark said.

"No... no..." he denied.

"Really?!" she asked not convinced.

"Are you a freaking shrink?" now he was a little angry, but he didn't know why. Could Callie be right? Okay he couldn't deny that he'd wished that at some time Addison would give birth to his kid, but was that the reason why he just had to know who this girl was and would he be disappointed because of that?

"You came to me because you wanted to talk." she defended herself.

"Yeah and now I don't want to talk anymore." and then he went back to the room Derek had examined the girl in but there was already another patient in there.

He looked at the clock to see that there was still time before he had to scrub in to his surgery. He went in search of the girl only to discover that she was not in the room she occupied earlier. He had no idea where she was. He went along the hallway he saw Lexie standing at the nurse station. Should he ask her where the girl was? In the end he hadn't spoken to her for a week now but the more he thought about it the more he was sure that he just had to ask her because there was nothing more important in that moment than to see the girl again. Slowly he approached his former girlfriend and asked with low voice:

"Dr. Grey could you please tell me where the girl that Dr. Shepherd examined is?"

She looked at him and you could see in her eyes that it hurt her. Mark couldn't tell if it was because he seemed to care more about a patient than he cared about her or if it was because he talked to her as if she was a random colleague, all he could tell was that this conversation hurt her.

"Room 2157... but she's still unconscious..." she said finally but her voice wasn't much above a whisper. Mark immediately turned around and wanted to walk towards room 2157 but that was when Lexie found a stronger voice.

"Mark!" she called out "Do you... ehhr... can we please talk about this... about us?"

"There is no us, you told me you're not ready to have a family... you quit on me... and then you slept with Alex Karev!" his voice got louder and louder. He didn't mean to yell but all the anger and all the pain she'd caused him just overwhelmed him. Then he walked away letting Lexie just standing there while everybody around them was staring at her.  


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**What do you think? How did you like the talk with Callie? And what do you think about Mark yelling at Lexie?  
Tell me in a REVIEW!!  
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	4. I'll just call her

**Thanks to Echante and LoveandLearn who were the only ones that reviewed chapter 2! I saw that many subscribed to this story but didn't write a review and it's kinda sad because I'm really interested in your opinion about the story... For everyone who doesn't know what to write in a review you could tell me what you like/dislike in the story, who do you want this girl to be? Something like that you know... just that I know you're interested in this...  
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_**Chapter 3:**_

Lexie had been right, the red haired girl was still unconscious when Mark stood in front of her bed looking through the chart. Her CT did not confirm any suspected brain injuries, that meant she had to wake up within the next few hours. He watched her for a few more minutes until Derek appeared in the doorway.

"Hey man." Mark said and walked over to him.

"Hey... she seems to be fine. I'm sure she will wake up soon." Derek said eying the girl in the bed.

"That's good... I just came..." the plastic surgeon tried to sound casual and not specifically interested in the case but failed.

"Oh Mark, I know why you're here. The reason you're here right now is the same reason I'm standing next to you in this moment." he looked to Mark's questioning face.

"What are you talking about?" he asked Derek after a few minutes of silence.

"Oh come on... you can't tell me your interest in on this case, regarding this specific girl doesn't have something to do with her resemblance to my ex-wife."

"I can't?" Mark looked with a questioning gaze. He was hoping that Derek would believe him and not push but he lost hope of that when Derek began shaking his head.

"Okay, fine. Maybe you're right, but how can you have the same reason for being here in that case? You've got a post-it wife." He said, not realizing until later that the comment didn't really make any sense.

"Oh I've got the same reason but my intentions are far different from yours." he looked directly in his best friend's eyes.

"Really? And what are my intentions?" Mark was certain that his friend didn't have opposing intentions.

"We couldn't inform her family because we don't know who she is or where she came from. I don't want her to wake up and be alone. Or worse, I don't want her to wake up and see you watching her and living vicariously through her to fulfill some fantasy you've got. You want to be near her because it feels like being near Addison and that makes you feel good." Derek explained hitting the bull's-eye although Mark didn't want to admit it.

"That's not true, I'm here because I care about this patient." he tried to talk his way out but the way Derek looked at him was enough to tell him otherwise. There was no way his best friend from childhood was going to fall of the act he'd been putting on. "What is it? Is it that unbelievable that I'm able to care about patients?" Mark couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Well, I've never seen you caring this much about someone I wasn't married to for more than 11 years." Derek smiled self-satisfied.

"Okay, maybe I've got a thing for red haired chicks..." that was a lame excuse and Mark knew it.

"Oh you don't have a thing for red haired 'chicks', you have a thing for my ex-wife and this poor girl here reminds you of Addie:" Derek was right and Mark didn't know how to respond. He knew that what Derek told him was true but he couldn't admit it.

"Whatever, but admit it, it's just insane that she looks so much like Addison..." he looked toward the bed and silently watched the girl that reminded him of the woman he'd been love with for longer than he'd care to admit.

"Oh yeah... I mean look, how old is she? Don't you think we would have noticed if Addison was pregnant? We've known her for more than 20 years and... who is this girl?" Derek finally vocalized the question that haunted their mind since they first came across their patient.

"Derek, this girl can't be Addie's daughter, can she? Maybe she's... she's her sister... or she just looks like Addison but isn't related to her." Mark suggested different alternatives although he didn't believe in any of them himself.

"Oh yeah that's most likely the case and tomorrow a little version of you walks in here and you're also in no kind related to him, do you really believe that?" Derek said sarcastically.

"Not really... okay I'll just call and ask her." and with that Mark took his blackberry out of his pocket and searched for Addison's number. He was so lost in thought that he didn't noticed Derek mumble:

"Oh god I don't want to be the one asking Addison... does he think that it'll be that easy? Just saying something like '_Oh hey Addison, do you have a daughter no one knows about?' _that's insane..."  
Mark stood a few feet away while waiting for Addison to pick up her phone. What he couldn't see was that in LA Addison had her phone in the hand looking at the caller ID not sure whether she want to talk to him or not. When he already wanted to hang up he finally heard her voice.

"Hello, this is Dr. Montgomery speaking." she pretended not to know who was on the phone.

"Hey, it's Mark..." he said and waited for her reaction only to hear silence. She obviously had nothing to say to him. "Ehhr... do you have a minute?" he went on to ask.

"Mark, what do you want?" she replied, sounding annoyed.

"I wanted to talk to you..." which was true. He had too much to tell her. He wanted to tell her how stupid he felt for what he did while he was in LA. He wanted to ask her about this patient that conquered his every thought. But he wasn't sure she'd even listen

"Okay, I don't have any time for this Mark, if there's nothing important you need to talk to me about than I've got to go. I've patients. Bye." she was just about to hang up when she heard Mark say something.

"Addison, do you have a daughter?" actually he hadn't planned to ask her immediately, he had wanted to talk about something else first and then mention the girl and ask her if she knows her. But when Addison wanted to hang up he had to do something to stop her and that was the first thing he had thought of, knowing it would capture her attention.

"What? Is this some kind of stupid joke?"

"No, no Addison. I'm not kidding... it's just... do you have one or not?"

"Of course, yesterday I got pregnant and this morning I gave birth!" she answered sarcastically.

"Addison, I'm serious. Do you have a daughter? I really need to know..." he tried to get an answer out of her.

"Why do you...?" she asked a little scared.

"Do you have a daughter?" he interrupted her, by saying the words loud and slowly he made clear how important it was.

"No, I don't have a daughter. But why do you want to know ?"  
Mark was relieved in a weird way. Somehow the thought of Addison having an almost grown up daughter was disturbing to him. When he thought of Addison as a mum he always thought of her holding a little baby girl with blue eyes, with his blue eyes. So he took a deep breath to relax. Addison would know if she had a daughter, wouldn't she?

"Why do you want to know that? And don't you think you would know about a daughter after your LA visit?" she asked again when Mark didn't responded.

"Yeah, I thought of all that but Derek..." he tried to explain when he was interrupted.

"What the hell did Derek..." she yelled.

"I didn't do or say anything!" Derek took Mark's phone to defend himself.

"But how does Mark suddenly get the idea that I could have a daughter?" Addison was anything but calm.

"Mark got the idea when we saw our last patient." her ex-husband said.

"But why..." Addison didn't get it.

"We have a patient... she's maybe 19 years old and... well I don't know how to tell you this but... she looks just like you. She looks like you did when you back in med school..."

"That's not possible." she thought

"Well that's what Mark and I thought too... at first... but we know what you looked like and trust me you two look alike." Derek and Mark could just assume what that must have felt like for Addison. Mark watched how Derek started nodding and finally he gave Mark his phone back.

"She wants to talk to you..."

"Addison?" he asked.

"Look, Mark I'm sorry for my reaction... and I really appreciate that you've called. You thought she could be my daughter and you thought I'd wanna know. I guess I would have done the same thing." she said and you could tell by her voice that she didn't know what to think.

"Addison... about what I said in LA..." he wanted to tell her that he was sorry.

"Don't... just don't, I get it." He could hear the sadness present in her voice.

"But..." he tried again.

"No buts... bye!" and then she hung up, leaving Mark staring at his blackberry.  


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**So again PLEASE I want to know what you're thinking about this chapter! Do you think Addison lied? Or do you think she told Mark the truth? Just tell me!  
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	5. Alyssa

**Sorry it took so long to update this story, I was just busy learning for school...i have to write a test in french, german, math, physics and latin... and i suck in each of these subjects... so yeah i spend the whole last week learning and now (finally!!) I found time to update this story!!! So enjoy reading now!  
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_**Chapter 4**_

He had to admit, it was good hearing her voice again. He'd been longing for it since he'd left Los Angeles, leaving her with a broken heart. His one wish was that she listened to what he had to say, but then again...he understood why she didn't. Every time she's ever listened to him he's ended up breaking her heart in one way or another. So at this point asking her to listen was asking for too much. He knew that had he been in her shoes, he would have done the same.

"Hey, I think she's waking up..." Derek interrupted his thoughts. At first Mark didn't know what Derek was talking about but then he noticed the girl beginning to stir.

"Oh, the kid you mean..." he went back into the patients room followed by Derek. The girls eyes were still closed but you could see her moving and hear her groaning. She slowly regained consciousness. When her eyes fluttered open they revealed the same blue green eyes Addison had, she looked just as beautiful as Addie. She looked around the room and finally her eyes stuck to the two doctors.

"Where am I?" she asked weakly.

"You're in the hospital. There was an accident and you have been injured." Derek explained.

"An accident?" apparently she didn't remember.

"Yes, don't you remember?" Mark asked.

"No, should I remember?" the girl shook anxiously her head.

"Don't worry, after an accident it's possible that you've got temporary amnesia. It should slowly start coming back to you." the neurosurgeon tried to take the fear off of the girl.

"Okay... but I'll get better right? I'll be able to leave the hospital, won't I?"

"Of course:" Derek smiled comfortingly.

The girl took a deep breath of relieve and smiled back.

"So may I ask what's your name?" he asked while Mark stayed silent. He knew he couldn't be as patient as Derek was. If he was to talk to the girl the first thing he'd ask would have been something like _Do you know an Addison Montgomery? Are you her daughter, her sister__...__ who are you? _And that wouldn't have been helpful. The girl had to feel comfortable and she had to know what had happened to her.

"I'm Alyssa..." she answered.

"Alyssa? And your last name?" Derek asked wondering why she didn't tell him her full name. When she didn't say anything he added: "We need to know your full name so we can inform your parents..."

"My parents wouldn't care..." Alyssa looked away from the two men, feeling ashamed of the fact that not even her parents cared for her. Derek looked at his best friend, both men didn't know what to say. Since they'd met Addison they'd understood what it meant to have parents like that but Addison had seemed tougher, not like this girl who apparently didn't knew how to deal with it.

"Okay, so we don't inform your parents... is there anyone else you want us to call?" Mark asked, feeling sorry for her. Now every thought of asking her about her relation to Addison was gone and this need to comfort her had replaced it.

"I came here with two friends... oh god were they also involved in the accident? How are they?" Alyssa started to panic and sat up quickly, too quickly. Her sudden move had caused a huge headache and so she fell back onto the bed.

"You okay?" Derek asked, taking a single step closer to her. She nodded her head in response.

"We'll ask if there were other people in the car okay? And you rest now, try to sleep a bit and we'll see you later..." Mark smiled and left the room together with Derek.

When he looked at Derek he saw that his friend couldn't hide a grin.

"What?!" Mark asked confused.

"Oh, nothing... " the surgeon shook his head still grinning. "I think I've got patients... and you should check who else was in this car accident." then he turned around and walked away while Mark was standing in front of the room watching him walk away. Just when he was about walking around the corner Mark shouted: "Shepherd what did she tell you on the phone?"

"The same thing she told you... and that we should call her when we know who the girl is." Derek shouted from the other end of the hallway and smiled, then he went around the corner and was out of sight.

So now Mark had to search for Alyssa's friends, not that he would rather do anything else, he really wanted to do this for her but there was this fear to have to tell her that something bad had happened to them. Only the thought had let her panic, he didn't want to be the one who confirmed this fear. He had to be able to tell her good news when he entered her room the next time.

"Mark." he could hear Callie shout down the hallway and interrupting his thoughts. The woman went down the hallway with concern on her face.

"What is it?" Mark met her on half the way.

"How's the girl?" she asked.

"She can't remember the accident but Derek says the amnesia won't last, so... I guess you could say she's fine..." Mark explained.

"Thank god..." she took a deep breath of relieve.

"She said she's here in Seattle with two of her friends... and I've promised to find them. Look if they were also in the accident, you know..."

"I can tell you this, she was with my patient in the same car... so you can tell her that her friend is fine, she's just has a broken arm."

"Thank god... I was already afraid that I would have to tell her something bad."

"Well... Julie, that's my patient, said there was also a guy in the car... Alyssa's boyfriend..." she said slowly.

"And where is he?"

"That's the thing... I'm not sure, I've heard that Hunt is in the OR with a boy... and it looks really bad..."

"Oh no, please... I can't tell her that." Mark was desperate, there was a reason for the Fear he had.

"Hey, Hunt is an amazing surgeon... let's wait, maybe the surgery turns out well..." Callie tried to give her friend some hope.

"It has to turn out well, otherwise I would have to break this girl's heart by telling her she lost her boyfriend..." he could only imagine how hard this would be, he'd lost Addison but that was different. The woman he loved was still alive and he could at least hope to get another chance and see her again, but Alyssa wouldn't be able to hope that she maybe will see her boyfriend again if he's dead.

"So we'll wait... and we won't panic until we have to." Callie answered reassuringly. Mark glanced her way and nodded. She was right. There was no point in him to lose is sense before he knew what was really going on...and something had to be going on.  
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**What do you think? Now the girl has a name, Alyssa... and now we know a little more about her. So tell me what do you think about this chapter? Do you like it or do you dislike it? Is it okay that there is so much dialogue or would you rather read chapters with less dialogue? Just tell me I wanna know your opinion! REVIEW!!!  
**


	6. More about Alyssa

**So this is chapter number 5... i hope you like it.  
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Chapter 5:**_

The cafeteria was almost empty. Mark and Callie were seated at a table far away from the entrance, wanting to get as much privacy as possible. Both tried not to think about what could be happening in Hunt's OR at that second and what consequences the result of the boy's surgery could have. Callie was much more calm, her main goal was to distract Mark who was a nervous wreck. But before she could start with distracting him he got up and left the cafeteria hoping to find Hunt. Owen Hunt was a great surgeon he had saved so many soldier's lives in Iraq, he just had to save this boy and Mark just had to believe in that.

He had went through almost every hallway in the hospital and still he hadn't found Hunt.

Just as he was about to give up he heard some screaming, "Sloan!" and turned to see that it was the man he was looking for.

"Hunt, there you are I've searched for you for almost half an hour..." Mark said when he turned around.

"Well so have I, I met Dr Torres when I scrubbed out and she told me you would be in the cafeteria waiting for me to end the surgery. She said you promised the kid's girlfriend to find out how he and her friend are? But you weren't anymore in the cafeteria when I wanted to tell you." Owen explained.

"And how is he?" he asked the other surgeon hoping what he had to tell him wasn't the worst.

"Well, he's alive..."

Was that good or bad? Actually when the patient was still alive it was good, but in this case it sounded just the opposite...

"So I can tell Alyssa her boyfriend will live?" he asked unsure.

"You can tell her that he's still alive... but in a coma..."

"What? He's in a coma? How can I tell her that? Is there any chance he's going to wake up?" That was definitely not what he wanted to tell Alyssa.

"It doesn't look good... he had internal bleeding and we could save only one kidney... his heart stopped beating several times and it's kind of a miracle that now he's stable..."

"Oh my god... okay... ehhr... I guess I should go tell Alyssa what had happened..." he felt numb, how could he tell her something like this? He slowly turned around and walked away thinking about Alyssa and if he should tell her immediately what had happened. Actually it would be unfair to not tell her what had happened to her boyfriend but thinking about it,it wasn't his decision to make, he wasn't her father, he wasn't even her doctor...

Entering Alyssa's room, he looked right into the hopeful eyes of the girl, he couldn't tell her the whole truth, he just couldn't. Telling her that her boyfriend is in coma and that it's not likely that he will ever wake up again, that would mean breaking her heart and right now she had to get better and there it would be not very helpful to know the shocking truth.

"Hey, did you sleep a little bit?" he asked smiling.

"No... I couldn't... did you find my friends?" she sounded sad.

"Yes, they were with you in the car when the accident happened... Julie is fine, she has just a broken arm... but your boyfriend... he's still in surgery..." he explained.

"Jake? What does that mean, is he... is he... I mean will he die?" she started to panic.

"No, no... I don't think so... we'll have to wait until the surgery is over... but don't worry." he took her hand to calm her down.

She nodded and looked at the smiling face of the doctor standing by her bed.

"Can I ask you something?" Mark finally asked.

"Yes..."

"You said your parents wouldn't care..." he looked away, again, as if she was ashamed."... what makes you think that?"

"They never did, I was raised by a nanny and saw my parents every now and then... They didn't want the other people to know about me... When someone came to visit them I had to spend some time outside the house... with my nanny, I didn't have any other friends..." Mark could tell that remembering all this made her incredibly sad.

"They hid you from other people?" that was inhuman, to let a child grow up without any social contacts beside a nanny and without the love of parents.

"Yes... and as soon as I was old enough to go to school they sent me to France to a boarding school..." she told him.

"So they did not have to worry about other people finding out they've got a daughter..." Mark ended her sentence. That didn't sound like Addison, Addison would never let a child grow up like that.

She knew what it was like to grow up being loved only by a nanny and not by her parents. That was something she would never do to another human being, at least not on purpose.

"How can parents do that to their child?" he asked more to himself than to the girl.

"My parents already had two kids and I was told that I was unwanted... so no one should know about me, because of my family's reputation..." Alyssa answered his question.

"You've got siblings? Why didn't you tell us before? We could call them, they certainly care about you, don't they?" he suggested.

"No... well I actually don't know... they don't know about me either..." apparently she was sad but you could see the slight hope in her eyes, hope that there maybe was someone who would care about her.

"But how could your parents hide you from your siblings?" he was shocked how parents could be able to do something like that to their own kid.

"They didn't live at home anymore... they were already grown up... I was alone at home..." it hurt her to talk about all this stuff. Mark didn't know what to say, this girl had had more bad experiences than anyone at her age should have had. Suddenly there was this other thought on his mind what if this girl was really related to Addison but not in the way he'd thought until now, maybe Alyssa was Addison's sister.

Maybe Addison was one of Alyssa's siblings who didn't know about her. That would mean Addison hadn't lied to him and it would mean she hadn't had the baby of someone else. That was exactly what he needed to make himself feel better. But now that that was out of his mind he realized his pity of Alyssa. He wished the he could do something to change the life she's live, to find a way to show her that there has to be someone out that, aside from himself that had concern for her. Just because everything was slowly piecing together, didn't mean that the puzzle was solve. He had a long ways to go before he was at peace.  


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**Please tell me what you think... no matter if it's positive or negative, I apprechiate every kind of criticism!!  
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	7. Sisters

_**Chapter 6:**_

Mark and Derek were seated in the gallery of OR 1 to watch as Callie operated on her patient, but neither he nor his friend really watched her. The neurosurgeon raised an eye brow at his best friend. Mark had just told him about this suspicion that Alyssa and Addison were sisters and apparently Derek couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"Are you sure? I mean it's not like there aren't other people with parents like that..." he said.

"What is it, Derek? Why don't you want to believe that they could be sisters?" Mark asked desperatly. Wasn't it obvious? Alyssa had uncaring parents just as Addison did, both were raised by a nanny, and they looked alike. Why couldn't Derek see that?

"I want to believe that, I really do... but it sounds so unbelievable!" Derek explained.

"I know but it's possible, isn't it?" Mark knew how Derek felt, he himself thought it was unbelievable that Addison had a sister she didn't know about.

"Well... it wouldn't surprise me if Bizzy and the Captain hid her from all the people... and her story, that she was raised by her nanny and she barely ever saw her parents... well just like Addison... so yeah I guess it's very likely."

"And what are we supposed to do now?"

"What do you mean?" Derek was a little confused, wasn't it obvious that first of all they had to treat the girl?

"Well, shouldn't we call Addison again and tell her?" that was the only thing that bothered him at that moment, he needed to tell Addison, tell her her sister is in Seattle and that she has to come.

"Well first of all we should ask Alyssa if she would like to meet her and if she's ready to." Derek stopped his best friend.

"Right... I'll go and ask her." he got up and went towards the door.

"Mark..." his friend started but the plastic surgeon was already gone.

Mark went along the hallways towards Alyssa's room. Wasn't it a miracle that the unknown sister of Addison, who he wanted to have another chance with, was right here in this hospital? That had to mean something, that had to be destiny! Some kind of numinous power wanted him and Addison together, he was certain. A week ago he hadn't believe that he would get another chance with Addison soon, but now it seemed that this chance was within his grasp's. What he didn't think about was that even if Addison came to Seattle she maybe wasn't willing to give them another try.

Meanwhile was Alyssa laying in the hospital bed with closed eyes.

"Alyssa?" the surgeon asked when he entered her room. "Are you asleep?"

"No... I can't sleep...all I can think about is what I'll do if Jake dies..." she opened her eyes and looked at Mark. He knew there would come a time when he had to tell her that her boyfriend was almost dead but right now he couldn't. Derek or someone else could tell her about Jake's condition but not Mark.

"I'm sure he will be fine..." he was a liar, he was just too much a chicken to tell her the truth.

"I hope so... but why are you here? Don't you have patients to worry about?" the girl asked, the sadness still present in her voice and on her face.

"I wanted to ask you something..." he said slowly not knowing how to tell her that he knew her sister.

"What is it? I've already told you about my family..."

"Well... yes you told me about your family and it sounds so familiar to me... You know I've got a friend... she's the gorgeous women I've ever seen, she's kind, lovely and she has this hair..." he lost himself while talking about Addison.

"Yeah, it's okay I know you love her." Alyssa interrupted him.

"What makes you think I do?"

"Well the way you talked about her..." she explained casually.

"Oh... oh okay I see... well anyway, she's wonderful, but her parents don't really see that. They treat her like shit. They always have and most likely always will treat her like that. She was raised by her nanny, just like you've been..." his voice was soft.

"What do you want to tell me? That although my parents didn't care about me I'm able to become a wonderful person?" Alyssa was irritated, why did Mark wanted to tell her that right now? She knew that even if her parents didn't care her life made still sense, she wasn't about to commit suicide.

"No... well kind of... but the main point is... you look so much like she does..." His tongue slipped, giving her enough information to guess what he was trying to say.

Alyssa's eyes widened slightly with the realization. She was able to connect the dots between what he was saying and what he wasn't. The only thing she needed was to hear him confirm it."What... what do you want to say with that? Does this mean she's... she's my sister?"

"Well it could be possible, don't you think? Do you know the names of your siblings?"

"My parents always told me their names weren't my business. But one time I saw my sister, she came to visit our parents with her husband or her boyfriend or some random guy and I asked my nanny who she was. She told me that it was my sister and she told her name was Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery. It kinda stuck with me. " she heard the name echoing in her head.

It took Mark's every strength to not jump up in excitement for figuring it all out. He smiled brightly. "That's her!" he exclaimed. "The guy she was with..that's probably Derek. They used to be married but whatever. Who cared about that?! Addison's your sister! I'm fucking brilliant!"

"You have to come to Seattle!" he said as soon as Addison had answered the call. He stood in the hallway still feeling overwhelmed by the fact that he'd been right.

"What? Because of this mysterious girl?" What the hell was he thinking? Did he really think that she had nothing else to do than to fly to Seattle only because he told her so? She did that just two weeks ago, okay she had to admit two weeks ago there had been a coagent reason to come.

"Yes, because of Alyssa!"

"And why should I come? I don't even know her, you should rather call her parents... I'm sure they're worried about her."

"No, they're not, her parents don't give a damn about her..." Addison could tell there was sadness in her former lover's voice, he really care about the girl. It was obvious that he had grown attached to her.

"Oh... I didn't know... that's sad... but why should I come? Because I'd had a miserable childhood too? Sorry Mark, I can't fly over to Seattle because of a girl I don't even know..." she felt sorry for Alyssa, she really did. But she couldn't go to Seattle because of this girl. She couldn't go there and face Mark again, not a week after he had broken her heart...again. She wasn't ready to deal with him and she wasn't willing to rush herself for some stranger.

"She wants to see you..." he was a little desperate Addison had to come not only because Alyssa wanted to get to know her, but also because he wanted to see her again.

"You told her about me? Why?"

"Well, regarding the fact that you two look so much alike and that you two had the same miserable childhood... yeah, somehow Derek and I thought she has to be related to you..."

"And how do you think is that? I swear I have no daughter." somehow she was curious about Mark's second suggestion.

"Addison she's you sister."

"Sister?" she started laughing.

"Yes..."

"Mark how for gods sake could the girl be my sister? She's like what, 25 years younger than me?" he couldn't be serious, how did he think was that possible? Besides, how could she have a sister that she never knew about. She wasn't that distant with her family.

"Addison, you have to believe me, she is you sister. Alyssa told me your name..."

The world around her began spinning and she had to sit down on the couch in her office. How could this girl know her name? She had to admit if Alyssa really looked so much like her, she couldn't deny that she really had a sister she'd never seen before. But how? How could Bizzy and the Captain hide a sister from her? She'd never seen a young girl with hair as red as hers at any family parties... she didn't know what to think. She thought about the girl who had known her name and now wanted to finally meet her... if she didn't fly to Seattle she would definitely disappoint Alyssa and somehow she also wanted to meet her sister even if that meant seeing Mark again.

"Addison?" Mark finally asked when she stayed silent.

"O... Okay, I'll come as soon as I can!" she said.

"Okay... bye." Mark was happy that Addison was willing to come and that Alyssa would get the chance to meet one of the gorgeous women on earth. Alyssa would get her chance and if Mark played his cards right, he might even be able to make things right with her.

"Bye." she hung up.

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**So what do you think? Now finally Addison will come to Seattle... after 6 Chapters... I don't know why but I just love to write about Mark maybe because of that it took me so long to get Addison to Seattle?! I hope you don't mind?! Because from now on there will be a lot of Maddiosn I guess... and Addison and Alyssa... and also a little Mark Alyssa... but for now you guys should review so I know what you think about this chapter!!  
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	8. Trapped in an elevator

_**Chapter 7:**_

She sat in the plane nervously playing with her fingers. She didn't know what she was more nervous about; the fact that she would soon meet her sister for the first time or about the fact that she would have to face Mark. How would she react once she meet Alyssa? How was she suppose to behave when she met her sister? Were Mark and Derek right when they told her they would look so much alike? There were so many questions she asked herself. And she didn't have the answer to a single one. And how should she behave when she meets Mark? Should she pretend nothing happened, that he hadn't given her hope only to break her heart again? But would he also pretend everything was fine? Somehow she thought Mark wouldn't be able to act normal around her, wasn't it very likely for him to want to talk about it and to explain himself? Oh god that wouldn't be a great day...

After some hours of flying she was now sitting in a cab on her way to the hospital. She felt a little sick on stomach but still she wasn't sure what she was more afraid of. She had a few more minutes to think about all the questions that were on her mind. But she wouldn't have enough time to answer it all before she reached the hopsital. She could only hope that she wouldn't ran into Mark as soon as she entered the hospital, because having to deal with all this feelings about Alyssa was enough, she didn't need to have to deal with Mark at the same time.

When the cab stopped right in front of the hospital's main entrance she felt even sicker. She just sat in the cab for a few more minutes with closed eyes before she got out and went straight into the hospital entrance with jelly legs but tried not to show that she was nervous and afraid as hell. It had always worked out well, people could barely ever see behind this mask... actually there had been only one man that was able to read her like an open book... Mark.

What wouldn't she give to be again happy with him, to have a new, a real chance with him... but it was too late now, he'd made clear that he'd moved on and that there wouldn't be another chance for them... "_I'm sorry... I'm sorry__,__ Red_ " these words had been on her mind for over a week now and they wouldn't go away. It still hurt her to know that there was no chance to get back together with him and she'd tried to learn to deal with the pain but having to face him most likely today or the next day was something that she thought she couldn't handle.

She made her way over to the elevators and pressed the button, waiting for it she started a to play with her fingers again. When the elevator doors opened she didn't want to believe her eyes, in this damn elevator was no one else but him, Mark. Perfect she thought that was so not her day.

"Addison, there you are!" Mark said smiling while he stepped out of the elevator and approached her. Apparently he was really happy to see her, because he immediately hugged her. She felt incredible comfortable in his arms and she wished the moment would never have to end, but it did... he took a step back and let go of her.

"Yeah, I took the first flight this morning..." she said not looking into his eyes.

"Alyssa's already nervous about meeting you..." he still smiled eyeing every little detail of her face.

"I'm looking forward to meet her..." she tried to sound as casual as possible.

"You're afraid of meeting her..." there was no question about it, he could really read her like an open book and Addison knewpretending he couldn't would have no effect on him, so she just smiled.

"It's good to see you again..." he said.

"Yeah..." she couldn't say the same about him.

"So ready to meet your sister?" he asked, somehow his behavior was weird.

"Yeah..." she was still incredible nervous.

"So let's go." he said happily and pressed the button for the elevator.

Addison slightly hesitated, was it a good idea to get in the elevator when there were only the two of them in it? She wasn't sure but finally she got into the elevator together with her former lover.

As soon as the elevator doors closed and enclosed only the two of them in the little room Mark pulled the stop-button.

"I knew this was a bad idea..." Addison groaned and rolled her eyes when the elevator stood still.

"Look Addison, I don't want to force you to talk to me but..." he tried to explain.

"But you lured me with your happy and casual manner into this freaking elevator! To me it looks like you want to force me to talk to you." she interrupted him.

"No, I don't want to force you to anything... it's just that I thought you would maybe walk away..." okay now it finally came to his mind that this hadn't been a good idea.

"Oh and so you thought you get me into this elevator where I can't escape?! Nice. And so not forcefully." she said now looking straight into his eyes and with her voice full of sarcasm.

"Well... okay maybe this idea wasn't as good as I'd thought... I'm sorry Addison..." he said fearing that he now definitely had lost every chance of a reunion of him and her.

She couldn't stand his look anymore, he looked so desperate... she just wanted to touch him, hug him or something like that. She deliberate about whether she should take a step and hug him or whether she should just say something. In the end she decided to hug him.

"How about we talk later? Right now I'm just not in the mood to, you know because I'm going to meet my little sister..." she said and hold him tight.

"Right... maybe we should just delay this situation..." he said looking deep into her eyes while she still had her arms around him. There was this moment in which he just wanted to lean down to her and lay his lips on hers, but he resisted because he wasn't sure how Addison felt.

Addison was lost in his gray eyes, all she wanted to do in that moment was take his head in her hands and kiss him but in her head she heard him say it again, _I'm sorry... I'm sorry Red_ . She fought against the need to feel his lips on hers, she tried to control herself but how could she ever resist him? He was... well he was Mark... so before she knew it her tongue was exploring his mouth. He was overwhelmed by this sudden move of her, but he was grateful to feel her tongue, to feel her lips on his. Everything that had been on his mind was practically blown away, he just enjoyed feeling her. The kiss grow more passionate and without the need for air they wouldn't have parted.

They looked each other in the eyes and immediately were again overwhelmed by their feelings. This time Mark felt her hands wander up and down his body. He moved his lips slowly from her lips down her neck. Both were breathing heavily and before Addison knew what they did she was pressed against the elevator wall.

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**Yay Maddison is back!!! So what do you think about this elevator ride? Do you like it? I hope you like it...?! REVIEW!!!  
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	9. Everybody knows

**I know, I'm a bad uploader and I'm really sorry for letting you guys wait so long... but now here's the next chapter and I hope you'll like it... that means if you still read this here... But I promise to upload the next chap sooner!!  
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_Chapter 8:_

The fact that the elevator was no working was not easily missed. A great majority of the people had noticed it. Derek and a few technicians were in the midst of trying to get it fixed. Just as they were about to put their plan into action and begin fixing the elevator they were interrupted with the ping sound that signal the doors were about to open.

Addison had eagerly been waiting until she could get off the elevator, it was no surprise to Mark that she took off the second the doors were open wide enough to all her to do so. Before she disappeared she had at least assured him that she'd be back after she finished 'freshening up' in the bathroom. Mark stood still in the elevator, hecouldn't stop himself from grinning, that had been one of the best elevator rides of his whole life. Now he understood why Derek was so fond of these damn Seattle Grace Elevators. Even when he realized that about 10 people were staring at him the grin didn't fade, it rather grew bigger.

When he finally stepped out into the hallway he made his way towards the nurse station that was only a few feet away from the elevators. He took Alyssa's file, turned around and walked right into his best friend. The plastic surgeon looked right into Derek's eyes still grinning from ear to ear and waited for him to say something. But his best friend stayed silent, his look didn't gave away his thoughts and Mark's grin slowly faded.

"Derek, is everything alright?" Mark asked eventually but didn't got an answer, the neurosurgeon still stood in front of him not saying a word.

"So if you don't have anything to say than I'm going to get going..." Mark pointed towards Alyssa's room and started walking away when Derek still didn't show any reaction.

"Dr. Sloan!" he heard someone behind him yelling after he took a few steps. It was Derek who'd yelled and when Mark turned around he could see the anger which Derek had been trying to hide.

Derek was obviously very angry, but why? Mark wasn't aware of having done anything wrong. Slowly he approached his furious best friend.

"Why the hell are you yelling at me?" he whispered so only Derek could hear him but with anger in his voice.

"Why am I yelling at you? You're kidding me right? What the hell was this elevator thing?" apparently it was hard for Derek not to yell.

"Oh you mean this..." remembering the happenings a grin appeared on Mark's face again.

"How can you still grin?"

"Derek what the hell do you care? She's your ex-wife, we can do what ever we want to do and it's none of your business!" now Mark was also yelling, why the hell should he let Derek decide with whom he did something and with whom he did nothing?

"You know I don't care if you screw my ex-wife again, or if you screw another woman, but I do care when you do it in my hospital! Mark, this is my first day as a chief and you have to stop the elevator so you can let your naughty little dreams come true with her? Did you even think about what you're doing? I was scared to death, I thought there's a patient in this stupid elevator that needs help or what if this is another situation in which an intern has to perform heart surgery in a non-sterile elevator just like it happened a few years ago? I don't know how Webber could deal with something like that but I'm sure as hell that I can't deal with it on my first day! So Mark I'm asking you again, did you think about what you were doing and where you did it?" Derek still couldn't stop yelling and so now everyone in that damn hallway was staring at them.

"Great shout it out into the world! But just one question, did you think about what you were doing when you had sex in an exam room at prom? Did you think what you were doing and how that would hurt Addison?" so now everyone who hadn't heard about the prom sex knew it by now.

"Stop yelling!" Meredith had heard them from a patient room and came to stop them.

"Yeah, tell your husband there are things he shouldn't shout out so everyone can hear it!" Mark yelled.

"The two of you, STOP! Both of you're yelling and that isn't necessary, calm down and talk about it later!" she said certain and pulled Derek away.

Meanwhile in the ladies bathroom Addison was bend over a sink. What the hell had she been thinking? She'd just kissed him without saying anything, she'd kissed him although she'd known he didn't love her. But on the other hand he'd kissed her back... does that mean something? No he'd made clear that he didn't want her, he was in love with the Grey girl and not with her, certainly he'd just kissed her back because he didn't want to disappoint her. Maybe she was still important to him but not as a lover but as a friend and maybe because of that he'd kissed her back and all the other stuff... just to remind her of old times... She had still this strong feelings for him and all she wanted was for him to still love her but she knew that it was over, she knew there was no chance that Mark would dump Lexie and get back together with her, but she couldn't stop hoping.

Suddenly the door opened and Callie came in. She'd known that Addison was in it and to be honest that was the reason for her coming. She'd heard about the elevator thing, in the end such happenings didn't stay a secret for long in the hospital.

"So, what was that?" Callie asked immediately.

"Hello to you too Callie..." Addison said.

"Come on, split it." apparently she didn't think it was important to start the conversation like you do usually, she just skipped the 'hello, so good to see you' part and came straight to the point.

"What are you talking about?" Callie wasn't there when she'd stepped out of the elevator. That she was certain, but could these news go around that fast?

"Dude, you and Mark? You know the elevator thing... do you remember?!" So apparently Callie knew what had happened between them in the elevator, which meant so did almost everyone else who was in the hospital.

"Okay, I was in the elevator... with Mark... and..." the red haired finally started.

"And?" now came the tantalizing part and Callie couldn't hide her curiosity.

"... and nothing..." Addison backed out.

"Seriously, you're not telling me you were in the elevator for about 20 minutes and nothing happened, that isn't possible. Mark Sloan and you, Addison Montgomery, in one elevator for almost half an hour, that's meant to be hot. So don't you dare trying to tell me that nothing, really nothing happened between the two of you, because you know that it's not true, something happened, but what happened? Did you only kiss or were the two of you that horny enough to do get straight to it right there and then? Ohh think about it, you're in the hospital just for a few minutes and already had hot sex in an elevator, that's... yeah, that's so you and Mark like..." Callie smirked while walking towards the red haired.

"Ehhr... I better go, you know. I have to go see my um..sister..." Addison slowly went towards the door, she wasn't in the mood to explain everything to Callie using Alyssa was a good excuse.

When Addison walked out of the ladies bathroom she remembered that she didn't even know where exactly Alyssa's room was. So she went towards nurse's station beside the know infamous elevator. When she came closer to the destination she could hear Derek yelling, and she wished she couldn't understand him, it was just embarrassing, she didn't want to walk any further, so she she stood still.

"You know I don't care if you screw my ex-wife again, or if you screw another woman, but I do care when you do it in my hospital! Mark, this is my first day as a chief and you have to stop the elevator so you can let your naughty little dreams come true with her?" she heard her ex-husband.

Addison couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Couldn't he try to stay calm and not to yell, because she wasn't very thrilled that everyone in the hospital knew about her and Mark. She decided that it would be in her best interest to ignore everything that Derek had been saying. But by the time she had been able to bring herself to do that, the yelling had stopped and Derek was gone. She looked up to see Mark standing there radiating with anger. He was staring at one consistent spot in the ground.

She didn't know how she was supposed to say to him at that moment. His anger wasn't a problem, or so she told herself. In reality, it did intimidate her just a little bit but the real problem was that she didn't know how to behave after everything that had happened in the elevator. She did he best to avoid him so she stopped a few feet away from him, hoping that he wouldn't notice her. Once Mark started walking she followed him assuming he would go to her sister. She was right. He didn't realize he was being followed, he didn't notice Addison behind him. That made it easier when she chose to stay outside instead of go in the room with him.

"Hey... how do you feel?" Mark asked the girl in the bed. Addison watched them from a distance, but she could see them and hear every single word.

"I feel good..." Alyssa said smiling. Addison was overwhelmed by her sisters appearance, Mark and Derek hadn't exaggerated, it was as if she looked into a mirror and saw herself as a teenager.

Alyssa's every feature was the same as hers. It was unbelievable, there lay a girl that was much younger than her and they looked so much alike, she hadn't thought that it was possible.

"So... I guess Addison will come soon... she'd to go to the bathroom..." Mark explained after a few minutes. Alyssa nodded with a weird smirk on her face, Addison immediately noticed that she smirked but apparently Mark didn't.

"And?" the girl asked finally.

"And what?" the plastic surgeon seemed to be confused.

"Don't be stupid, the whole hospital knows about the hot elevator sex, do you really think I wouldn't know?" Addison was shocked. That was just great even her sister knew about it, her sister who she'd never met before.

"You... you... you know?" Mark who was so shocked that he stammered. As an answer he got an grin from ear to ear.

"Come on, that means she loves you... wasn't that what you always wanted? Didn't you tell me just a few days ago that you love her more than everything else?" Alyssa said when Mark stayed silent.

Addison, still in the hallway couldn't believe what she'd just heard, Mark had told her sister that he loved her? That was a joke right? She didn't notice how her feet slowly moved towards the door.

"Yes, I've said that... but she doesn't love me... that thing in the elevator that wasn't like that... it was like... some kind of goodbye sex..." Mark said, but Alyssa didn't looked at him anymore, she eyed the woman in the door, Addison.

"You love me?" was the only thing Addison had managed to say, she didn't even looked at her sister, every thought about Alyssa had been replaced by thoughts of Mark and the fact that he loved her.


	10. Not good in keeping secrets

**__****Chapter 9:**

Mark couldn't manage to say anything. He had no idea what he was suppose to do at that point. He loved the woman in the doorway with all his heart and every so often he'd wished this to happen, that she'd listen to him and that in the end she would knew that he regretted breaking her heart. But now that it had happened he just stood there like a idiot not saying a word and staring in shock at Addison. In some way he was scared because even if she knew about his true feelings there was no guarantee that she felt the same.

Addison was still shocked and waited for Mark to say something. She felt overwhelmed with joy by this sudden revelation. He loved her, well at least Alyssa had said so, but in the end it just had to be true. Although she tried so hard not to get her hopes too high, not to feel overwhelmingly happy she couldn't help but do it anyway. Aware of what it would do to her if Mark led her down once again, she looked from Mark to Alyssa and back still shocked.

"Okay... so now you know..." Mark said slowly, still eying her and trying to read her.

"Maybe you should..." Alyssa started but was interrupted by Mark.

"Yes, I'll let the two of you alone!" he said walking out the door.

"Okay... that's not what I meant...." the girl mumbled, looking at the door when she remembered that Addison, who still hadn't said a single word, was still in the room and now looking at her.

"I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I am not one of those selfish people, who always think about themselves first... I didn't want him to go, I just wanted to suggest, that you two talk alone, only the two of you... that's what I was going to say. But please don't misunderstand me, in some way I'm grateful he left, because of course I want to talk to you, I've waited so long for this moment and yeah.... but even if I want to talk to you, I don't want to be that selfish, you two talking, that's important right now, not this here..." she couldn't stop speaking only because her nerves were getting the better of her.

"Shhh, calm down. It's okay, actually I'm more that grateful about him leaving, because I honestly don't know what to tell him right now..." Addison had found her voice again and made a step towards her sister..

"Oh... are you serious or is this you being all nice and friendly right now and talking to your friends about how selfish I am later?" Alyssa couldn't decide whether to trust her sister or not, too often she'd trusted her parents only to be disappointed by them. And by now it had become some kind of reflex to question everything just so she wouldn't trust a liar.

Addison watched her and raised an eyebrow. She didn't understand why this girl was doubting her. No one had ever questioned her seriousness like that, usually she'd been the one who doubted every word. That was a really scary situation, it wasn't only as if she looked into a mirror, even Alyssa's behavior was the same as hers.

"No, I'm serious. I mean even if I thought you were selfish, it's not like I have someone to whom I could talk about it here in Seattle... well okay there are a few people I could talk to, but we're definitely not that close that I wouldn't call them friends... well... maybe one... or two... but anyway I mean... no, I am not lying to you. I am really grateful that Mark left us alone, seriously." Addison didn't look into her sister's face while she talked.

"Wow... you're talented in trying to explain yourself and looking like a complete moron at the same time... just like I am..." the girl watched her sister fascinated, it was clearly astonishing how similar the two behaved.

Addison stopped talking, for a few moments she just stood there looking straight into Alyssa's eyes. Her look was returned by the girl and suddenly they both busted into laughing and couldn't stop. Addison took some more steps towards Alyssa until she stood right in front of her, still laughing.

"Wow, when they told me you would look like me I didn't expect that we resembled one another that much and especially not in our behavior, but it's really scary..." Addison was still laughing.

"Well... it's really a little scary but also really cool." Alyssa said, who wasn't laughing anymore, the only thing left on her face was a huge smile.

"Yes... so... ehhr... I don't know it's a little weird, you know I used to think I was the youngest in our family and that I had only a brother, but now there is you... I have a little sister that looks like my twin and... it's weird..." she didn't know how to explain her feelings, in some kind she felt some sister bond between them but she though it was insane regarding the fact that she hadn't known about Alyssa until a day ago.

"I guess I know what you're talking about... well to me it's not that strange because I've already seen you once when I was little and I always knew that I have a sister and a brother but still it's weird to talk to you now..." Alyssa smiled comfortingly at her elder sister.

"Mark already told me you've seen me... but when was that?"

"I was about five I guess, it was a family party but I wasn't allowed to stay at home so my nanny took me outside and when you and your former husband arrived I saw you..."

"You saw me and Derek?"

"Yes... you know how irritating it was when Mark told me you two used to be in love? I remembered the man at your side looking totally different, but when I finally saw Derek Mark explained everything to me..." Alyssa grinned.

"What do you mean by 'everything'?" that didn't sound good. Addison needed to know exactly what Mark had told her sister about her past.

"Well... everything... you marrying Derek, cheating on him with Mark, getting pregnant with Mark's baby, aborting said baby, following Derek to Seattle to get back together with him, about the prom sex thing and that you called him because you needed sex, then he told me about the bet, about you jumping some intern and finally you moving to LA..." Alyssa listed.

"Oh..." even if hearing that Mark loved her made her the happiest woman in the world a few minutes ago, now she would have loved to slap him. What the hell had he been thinking, or had he been thinking at all? She felt so embarrassed, now even her sister, who she knew for about a few minutes, knew everything, EVERYTHING! But something that she'd said didn't make sense, Mark couldn't know about Alex and her one nigh stand.

"Wait, did you said he told you something about me and an intern?"

"Yes... oh shit, he told me not to tell you that..." Alyssa definitely wasn't good in keeping secrets.

"How the hell does he know about that? Why would he even tell you about that?"

"Well... okay I guess now that I already told you that he loves you and that he knows about you and the intern I can tell you... so he told me you two had had this bet, but you lost the bet because you and this intern had sex in an on call room..." she started to explain.

"Yeah, but he told me HE had slept with someone else..." Addison remembered that day quite well, he came down the stairs and she had been walking up them, in the middle they met and she wanted to talk to him, tell him that she slept with Karev and that she was sorry, but before she could say something he'd told her he had become weak and slept with someone else.

"He told you that because he didn't want you to feel guilty, he did that be cause he loved you." she looked Addison deep into her eyes to make clear that it was the truth, that Mark really just wanted to save her from her own guilt.

"Oh my god... he really had been in love with me..." she felt guilty for not noticing that fact, for not noticing how much she had meant to him, how much he'd loved her.

"I wouldn't say he had been, I would say he still is in love with you, present tense."

Outside, right at the spot where Addison had stood to listen to Alyssa's and Mark's conversation, Mark stood now. He could hear every single word of what they were saying, he heard them laugh and talk about how weird it was to meet one another and then he heard how Alyssa told Addiosn what she knew about her.

"Well... everything... you marrying Derek, cheating on him with Mark, getting pregnant with Mark's baby, aborting said baby, following Derek to Seattle to get back together with him, about the prom sex thing and that you called him because you needed sex, the he told me about the bet, about you jumping some intern..." he heard her say and knew right at that moment that Addison would notice what Alyssa had mention jumping into bed with an intern, and he knew she would ask how he'd known it. Sometimes this girl was really annoying, why couldn't she just think about what she's going to say before saying it? Or could she just shut up. The fact that she had given away his deepest secrets was starting to get to him. At first he was really mad at the girl, but seeing Addison's reaction surprised him and the the feeling disappeared.

"I wouldn't say he had been, I would say he still is in love with you, present tense." Alyssa said and Mark could see how Addiosn took a deep breath, although he could only see her back, he knew that it was the kind of deep breath that she always took when she was overwhelmed by her feelings. Suddenly she turned around and Mark could see Tears in her eyes, but he was certain that they weren't tears of sadness but of joy, she was crying because she felt nothing but joy. He'd rarely seen her ever that happy and it made his heart skip a beat. He knew there was still hope that they would get back together, it was so overwhelming that he also had tears in his eyes.

He watched her for some more moments, she hadn't seen him, she was just looking at the floor trying to hide her tears. But then suddenly she raised her head and looked straight into his eyes, she saw him standing a few feet away and it was as if she wanted to show him with her look that she wanted him to come back. Not noticing how his feet began to move, he watched the love of his life until he finally stood again in Alyssa's room.

He just wanted to say something when Addison pressed her lips in his, they felt so soft on his. Again their tongues were dancing together in a perfect rhythm but this time nothing felt like a goodbye but more like a new beginning.


	11. I owe you something

**_Chapter 10:_**

Kissing him was like heaven, words could only describe partly her feelings when their tongues danced a fiery flamenco. She forgot everything around her, there were only the two of them and to say that she was full of joy was definitely an understatement. Although she knew she couldn't stay there kissing for the remainer of time, she wished she wouldn't have to separate her lips from his. Then the moment, when the need for air got the better of them came and they had to separate.

No one said a word they just stood there, their faces only inches apart, trying to read each other. Both of them had completely forgotten about Alyssa, who was watching them fascinated with a huge smile on her face. She'd never felt so happy for someone else. She wasn't even sure if it was possible to feel so estatic for two people whom she's just barely met. Of course, Addison was her sister but it wasn't like there was any sibling bonding, after all she'd just met her. But on the other hand she couldn't deny that there was something between her and Addison, the way they'd talked had been like they've known each other for years. But anyway now wasn't the right time to think about that, now she shouldn't think about anything, now she should just feel happy.

The girl was deliberating about whether she should say something or not. Wouldn't it kind of ruin the moment between the two of them? But it was so hard to not even say something like 'awww', so she desperately bit her tongue.

"Wow." Addison aspirated, her eyes still on Mark.

By now the typical Mark Sloan grin had appeared on his face and he didn't even try to hide it. For him a dream had come true, he'd finally gotten the woman of his dreams. The woman he'd fought so long for, the woman who was so out of his league, that the fact that she loved him seemed incredible surreal. Who would have thought that although he'd screwed it up in so many ways the most gorgeous woman on earth would forgive him all his mistakes? So he had definitely every reason to grin like an idiot.

"Wow." Addison aspirated again, starring on his lips. She really couldn't think straight, his lips were just too distracting. What this man did to her was insane. How was it possible for him to make her feel like a love-sick teenager? All it took to make her blush was a simple glance. And she couldn't help but imagine herself in bed with him. Mark was on the person capable of having that effect on her.

"Awww... you two are so cute together..." Alyssa couldn't resist anymore, she just had to say it.

Immediately the two lovers became aware of the fact that they weren't alone and snapped back into reality. Both their eyes were now focused on her, Addison who immediately blushed again and Mark whose expression wasn't readable.

"I mean... well I didn't want to interrupt the two of you, didn't want to ruin the moment but... yeah you're just too cute, I couldn't stay silent anymore..." Alyssa tried to explain herself when no one else said a word.

"I'm sorry, we should... we shouldn't have done that... well I mean it was good, Mark, it was excellent, but... we shouldn't have done that here... ehhr... we should have done that when we're alone, not here... not in front of you Alyssa..." Addison stammered still red like a tomato. Mark averted his eyes from the girl and was now looking at Addison, trying to hide a huge grin. It was kind of amusing to see how embarrassed Addison was only because she'd been overwhelmed by her feelings right in front of her sister. Soon Mark couldn't hide it anymore and started laughing.

"What?" Addison asked irritated.

"You're as red as a tomato, kissing in front of your sister isn't that embarrassing."

"Yes, it's okay, I totally understand it. Why shouldn't you kiss your... ehhr... Mark." Alyssa didn't know what the title of their relationship was. She didn't want to risk called Mark her sister's 'boyfriend.'

"Well, I guess I'll leave you alone now, there certainly are more things you want to talk about." Mark said, turning around to leave.

"Yeah...but Mark..." Addison started just when he wanted to leave.

"Yes?" he faced her.

"... I love you." she said.

"I love you, too." a smile appeared on his face when he heard her say the three magic words.

"I'm happy for you... that you finally know that he loves you is really great." Alyssa said when Addison sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"You know in some way it's funny, he loves me, I love him but to finally get together we need you... I think I owe you something... without you I would probably be in LA right now with some guy who I don't really love but who I try to make myself believe I love..." Addison smiled, she was so grateful to meet her sister and when she'd flown out to Seattle she'd thought about how she could avoid Mark and now she didn't want to avoid him anymore because she knows that he loves her, now she would love to spend every minute with him. She really felt like she owes Alyssa something.

"You don't owe me anything , you got the guy, I got my sister, that's enough." Alyssa didn't want her to feel like that, she wanted that Addison just felt happy for getting Mark.

"I got also my sister, so I got m

ore that you, I definitely owe you something." Addison thought she definitely owe her sister something.

"Well, I also got Mark as a friend, see? You don't owe me anything." the girl tried to convince her.

"Okay, if you say so... But now, tell me something about you, why are you even here in Seattle?" Addison didn't want to argue so she let it go.

"Well... when I turned 18, just a few weeks ago, I left New York with Jake, my boyfriend and Julie, my best friend... Bizzy and the Captain never really liked them, well of course they didn't like them, after all they are not rich... but anyway, I came here with them and we had this accident." her sister explained.

"Oh... but they are okay are they?" she hoped that nothing had happened to them.

"Yes, I guess... Julie as some broken bones, she visited me yesterday, and Jake had surgery but Mark said he'll be fine..." Alyssa smiled, it was nice of Addison to ask how her friends were.

"Have you already visit him?"

"No... I asked Mark if he could take me to his room but he wasn't sure if Jake's ready for visitors... he wanted to ask someone but always forgot it..." actually he thought that a person couldn't be that oblivious but if something was wrong he would have told her right?

"Well I could ask, at least I can do that..." Addison offered.

"Yes, please that would be nice... I want to see him so badly..."

"Okay, I'll go and ask, maybe you can already see him today." Addison stood up and walked out of the room to find Mark or Derek or someone else.

Finding Mark wasn't exactly hard. He was standing right outside with Derek and from what she could tell they were going through someone's file together. She stopped for a moment to examine him, trying to understand how she could have ever felt an attraction for Kevin or Noah while she had Mark in her heart the whole time. She loved him more than word could express and she knew this time it would last, it just had to.

She began moving towards the two men, wondering if Mark had already managed to tell Derek about what had happened between them earlier. Not that she didn't want anyone to know about her and Mark, actually she wanted to scream it out into the world, that's how happy she was. But to enjoy the fact, that he loves her, in silence wasn't wrong. The way he stood there in his lab coat, good looking and incredibly sexy, it was just too distracting. She didn't even feel her legs move until she stood right next to him, still just looking at him in affection.

"Ehr... Addison?" she heard Derek's voice.

"Wha...?" Addison snapped back into reality.

"You just stood there looking like... like you've seen some kind of epiphany..." Derek seemed to have no clue what had happened between her and his best friend.

"Oh.. yeah, I talked to Alyssa and she told me about her boyfriend, Jake or something like that, and I promised to ask when she can visit him. She wants to see him so badly, she seems to really love him and... I guess you two understand this feeling..." Addison explained.

"Yeah... Jake... well I don't know... how can I tell you this now..." Mark stammered and looked over to Derek for help.

"What? Is there anything I should know?" the feeling that something wasn't alright rose in her.

"She can't see him." Derek said simply because Mark clearly couldn't.

"And why?"

"Mark lied to her..." her ex-husband continued.

"Well I wouldn't say I lied to her..." Mark defended himself.

"Oh you definitely lied to her." Derek asserted.

"I just sugarcoated the truth a little bit..."

"You did what?" Addison exclaimed.

"Telling her that her boyfriend had surgery but soon will be fine although he's actually dead isn't sugarcoating." no one responded to her.

"He's dead?" did they even hear her?

"Well, he's not dead... his heart is still beating..." Mark tried.

"Yeah but he'll never wake up. Face the truth, he's brain dead." Derek said.  
**_**

**So what do you think? REVIEW!  
**


	12. He's dead

**I know it's been some time since I updated this story, but I had to rewrite it like 3 times because I didn't like it and when I wrote this I thought it was the best I could write. I think it's a little bit too much conversation but I didn't know what else to write. After finisching it I always forgot to send it to my Beta.. but well I hope there are still some people reading this story... :D  
_**

_Chapter 11:_

The whole situation was just perfect. Jake was as good as dead and Alyssa had no clue what was going on with him. Her heart would be broken as soon as she found out about her boyfriend's condition and Addison didn't want to be the one who told her. She understood that Mark hadn't had the heart to tell her sister that she wouldn't see her lover again. Maybe it was because he knew how it was to be separated from the person you love with all your heart, but someone would have to tell her. And there was no easy way to admit the truth especially since everything had been sugarcoated for her sicne her arrival. The girl wouldn't be able to understand that they'd only tried to protect her from the bitter truth because all she would feel was the pain of loosing a beloved person.

"So Alyssa's estatic right now. She survived a fatal car accident, she just got someone who cares and now we tell her that her boyfriend is dead?" Addison asked.

"Well we wouldn't have this problem if Mark didn't lie to her. I would have told her the truth, it would have been hard for her to loose him in this accident but imagine the pain she'll feel now after you told her he was okay." Derek set clear.

"Reproaching Mark doesn't help, Derek. We're in this situation now and unless you've got some sort of a time machine we won't get out of it. It's certain that we have to tell her now, well apparently you've been sneaky doctors who don't have the courage to tell a girl that her boyfriend has died, so I have to tell her, right?" she already knew the answer.

"I wouldn't say we've been sneaky..." Mark started.

"Shut up and come with me, I'll certainly won't do this alone!" Addison took his arm and pulled him behind her into Alyssa's room.

Mark could see the joy in the girl's eyes, she was more than happy about getting to know her sister and now they would destroy a huge part of her life. She looked from her sister to Mark with big eyes not knowing what had happened. Mark immediately felt again the need to protect her, to tell her everything will be okay, but Derek and Addison were right, Alyssa needed to know the truth.

"What is it? Can I visit him now or not until tomorrow?" she had no clue.

Addison sat down on the end of the bed.

"Well Alyssa..." Mark started and looked over to Addison who gave him a warning look to tell him not to lie again.

"You know I would love to tell you you could see him and everything's going to be alright... but it isn't..." he continued.

"What does that mean?"she was confused.

"That means all the people here have sugarcoated you for too long. They've lied to you about Jake because they didn't want to hurt you." Addison explained.

"What are you trying to tell me?" the girl seemed to have an idea of what they wanted to tell her, in her eyes already appeared some tears but she didn't want to believe what had happened.

"Jake's not okay, his injuries were bad, really bad. And the surgery was too much for his body..." Addison said softly.

"So... so... does that mean... he... he... he's..." Alyssa started sobbing and crying.

"Yeah, that does it mean... I'm sorry..." she took hold of her sister who was now feeling what no one wanted her to have to feel.

"I... I... I still want to see him..." the girl sad between her sobbing. Addison looked questioningly to Mark who wasn't sure what to say.

"Please, just one last time..." Alyssa begged.

"Okay..."Mark couldn't refuse her wish.

"But before we go, you should calm down a little bit..." Addison started.

"No, I want to see him now, not when I've calmed down, because that won't be anytime soon."

"Okay... then come with me." Mark said and guided the two sisters through the hallways until they were standing in front of Jake's room. From the inside you could hear the low beeping of the monitors.

"I'll wait here..." Mark said looking through the window .

Addison went with her sister, who'd stopped crying, into the room. Jake had a tube in his throat and was surrounded by beeping monitors and machines, but still, he looked really peacefully. Alyssa took a step to the bed, tears in her eyes.

"His heart... it's still beating..." she looked over to her sister.

"Yeah... the machine's keeping him alive, they pump the blood through his body and they are breathing for him..." Addiosn explained as she watched Alyssa gently touching Jake's hand.

"He's not dead, he's alive... he has a heartbeat... his skin is still warm... No, you must be wrong he can't be dead." tears were rolling down her cheek.

"Sweetheart... He is dead, without all these machines he wouldn't live..." she said softly and took some steps till she was next to Alyssa.

"But... he's still warm... he could awake any minute..." Alyssa was full of hope.

"No Alyssa... Jake's gone..." it was hard for Addison to tell her sister this.

"No, I can still see him, I can touch him... I feel that he's here." she was desperate after all it seemed completely unreal that Jake, her Jake, who lay right in front of her, was gone forever.

"Sweetheart, everything that made Jake Jake is gone, this here is only his body..."

"But... that's not fair..." again Alyssa started sobbing and it broke Addison's heart. Maybe it hadn't been a good decision to let her see Jake one last time. Maybe it would have been better for her not to see him.

"I know... I know..." she took her little sister in an embrace.

"I don't even know if he knew what he meant to me, that he was the most important person in my whole life..."

"I'm sure he knew..." she tried to make her feel better.

"I can' even remember when I told him the last time that I love him..." she was slightly panicking.

"You've got a shock, that's normal... at some point you certainly will remember." Addison tried to calm her.

The view of Alyssa crying and sobbing because of her loss was more than Mark could bear, he needed to get away from the room. He almost ran through the doors and down the hallway to escape the view, until he stepped into an empty elevator. As soon as the doors had closed he pushed the Stop button. He walked up and down to calm himself but it didn't work. Suddenly his hand beat the wall. He sank down to the floor overwhelmed by his had lost the man she loved overnight, one moment everything had been okay and the next her life was in ruins. She wasn't sure if Jake had known what he meant to her... would Addison know how much he loved her and that he couldn't live without her?

So often he'd told her that he loved her but would she believe him if he died now? He realized how short-lived the life is and that from one minute to the other everything can be over, that everybody could die, not only old people who had a satisfied long life, even teenagers could die, so what if he died? Would Addison really know that she was the reason for everything he'd done, that his whole life was all about her? He needed her to know that what they had was more than just love, love was too cliche for them. He needed to know there was something more between them. Something bigger had come...

**Plaese review so i know that there is still someone reading this  
**


	13. The Proposal

**So it's been a long time since my last update, there had been just too less time to write but now I finally got it and so I hope the people who still read this review so I know that there is a bunch of you who want me to end this story. But now enjoy reading :D**

Chapter 12:

He knew what he had to do, how he could tell Addison what he felt inside but still he was a little scared about how she would react. Just about an hour ago he and Addison had finally talked about their feelings. He wasn't sure if it was too soon to prove his love on the highest level one can imagine. But regarding their very long history he wouldn't say that it was too soon to propose. The only problem was that his shift had yet to end and that meant that he did not have a ring on him. He had to have a ring, a proposal without a ring was unimaginable, he just had to have a ring even if it was only a cheap one from the souvenir shop. After an internal debate for a matter of minutes he decided that the ring had to wait until after the proposal. He came to the conclusion that life was too short to delay his question over the matter of a ring. After all, this was Seattle Grace and anything was possible. For all he knew, another patient with a bomb embedded in his chest could come strolling in.

So he walked through the hallways trying to think of what he would say to Addison, after all he wanted this moment to be perfect even if it was more or less a spontaneous decision. He looked everywhere for her and finally he found her in the cafeteria with Alyssa sitting at a table eating a cup cake.

"Oh Mark hey... is everything alright? You just left..." Addison asked when she saw Mark standing beside her.

"Yeah... everything's alright... ehhr..." he seemed very nervous.

"Mark what is it? You're so..." she started but was interrupted by him.

"Wait, I have to tell you something..." he say and took a deep breath and went down on his knee.

"Addison... I don't know how to say this now, but we know each other for more that 20 years now and we've already undergone a lot of things, some of them were sad, some of them were full of joy, but the most important thing is we've always stayed through it, no matter how bad it was.  
Since the very first day I've seen you I know that you're something special and I don't know why so many people don't see it. I love you since the first time we met, I don't know if you remember but before you and Derek met in Med school and before he introduced me to you we already met. It was half a year before med school started, it was the day the future students could visit the school to look around the campus. I was flirting with some girls at the bar when you came in and immediately draw my gaze on you. You looked stunningly beautiful and there was no way I could keep my eyes off of you. The girl I'd been flirting with was out of my mind although she still stood right beside me. When you came over to get a drink it didn't took me longer that 10 seconds to stand next to you. I knew I wanted to get to know you and usually I always got what I wanted because the girls always felt attracted to me. But then came you, and you were so different than every girl I've met before, you didn't cared about my tries to flirt with you... in fact you rebuffed me. I still know the exact words you've told me when I asked you to have a drink with me, you said: 'I know guys like you, first we're having a drink together, then comes the flirting until you suggest we could go to your place, where we finally end up in bed together. So no I don't want to have a drink with you.' And well what can I say... actually you were right, we would have end up in bed together that day if we had the drink. But we didn't and you obviously forgot about me and our... well I would say it was a little embarrassing meeting at the bar. I don't know what would have happened if you had reacted different that day, but I think then we wouldn't be here right now, I guess you wouldn't be something special for me today, you certainly only would be one of many women I used to get laid. So I consider this rebuff as one of the best things that have ever happened to me, particularly if you remember the fact that I however get you laid, though it happened some years later. You are the woman who's always on my mind no matter if you're here or in LA, you are something special and I'm honestly sorry for every time I've hurt you, I didn't meant to do so. I've been a moron to think someone else could replace you, there's no one out there that could ever compete with you Addison. You are so out of my league that it's some kind of miracle that you're again and again falling for me. I've always been the bad guy in this story, the man whore, and you... you've been the girl with class and elegance, the girl that only the smart, ambitious and good looking guy can get, the perfect opposite of me. The only thing that we've got in common is that we both are brilliant surgeons. Thinking about all of it I don't know why you should forgive me, you could only walk away and never see me again, I would understand it. I put you through so much pain, first when I didn't stop you from throwing away your marriage and then every time I've cheated on on you with some random nurse, even when you were pregnant with our child I couldn't keep my hands off of them, actually you deserve some one so much better than me but in some strange way we're made for each other, both of our lives are screwed up, the only time we're not screwed up is when we're together. I know how frightening it can be to truly love someone who truly love you, you've never felt like you mean anything to anyone and I guess that's what makes us so perfect for each other, we both have commitment issues that only the other can understand so I think you'll never find someone else like me just like I'll never find another you... and this seems to be my reason for you to not leave me. There are no word that can explain ho much you mean to me, you're my life and I never want to lose you, because loosing you would mean loosing my life and honestly I like my life, so please do me the favor and don't die. Seeing Alyssa loosing her boyfriend scared the shit out of me, all I can think of is what it would be like to loose you and if you even know what you mean to me. I know I've told you so many times that you are the only one for me, that you are the most important thing in my life and every single time I disappointed you because I slept with another nurse, but this time it's different... I know maybe it's hard to believe me but I'm saying the truth I'm a different man now, I love you, I don't ever want to hurt you again and I'll proof it to you, I want to spent the rest of my life with you and I hope you feel the same way about me so please Addison, marry me?" Mark, exclaimed with excitement and slight concern as he waited for an answer.

Addison looked shocked, overwhelmed and happy at the same time, she'd definitely hadn't thought that this was what had been on his mind.

"I don't really have a ring right now, I'm sorry. I just got this idea and I didn't have time to get a ring but as soon as my shift is over I'll buy a ring with a huge diamond on it, a ring you deserve. A ring that is as gorgeous as you are." Mark explained scared Addison would say no because of the ring.

"Mark... that's so... wonderful... what this ring looks like doesn't matter... I still don't know what to say..." Addison managed to say.

"Well, I suggest you say yes..." Alyssa said, who had watched the scene with tears in her eyes. That had been the best proposal she'd ever heard and she was happy for her sister.

"Oh... of course yes... yes I want to marry you Mark. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" Addison fling her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Oh Addison you've just made me to the happiest man on earth." Mark looked deep in her eyes when suddenly his pager went off.

"Dammit... ehhr... I've got to go, one of my patients needs surgery... how about we meet for dinner tonight? I could pick you up at your hotel..." he asked her.

"Yes I would love to have dinner with you... I'm not sure if I'll make it to the hotel but maybe you could check if I'm still with Alyssa when you come out of surgery..." she told him with her gorgeous smile.

"Okay... well I've got to go now..." and then her disappeared leaving a still surprised but also overjoyed Addison back sitting with her sister in the cafeteria.

"That was so cute of him..." Alyssa said after Mark was out of Addison's sight.

"I... I don't know what to say... did he really just asked me to marry him?" she asked irritated.

"Ehhr... yes?" the girl didn't know why she'd been asked this.

"And did I really just said yes?" Addison seemed not to believe what just had happened.

"Yeah... I think so..." Alyssa definitely didn't know what the point of all this was.

"Oh my god... I'm going to be a bride... again!" now Addison seemed to finally get what had happened.

"Yes, but this time it'll work out better, this time it's Mark who you're going to spend the rest of your life with." her sister made clear.

"Do you really think?" apparently Addison wasn't really sure about that.

"Of course, you and Mark belong together, the two of you are made for each other. Certainly it'll be different than your marriage with Derek, I'm sure that you and Mark will work out, believe me." Alyssa tried to reassured her sister.

"Okay... maybe I'm just freaking out a little bit..." Addison calmed down.

After about an hour Addison and her sister went back into Alyssa's room where the girl soon fell asleep. Addison just sat there watching her sleep and thought about the proposal. Actually she was more than sure that she wanted to marry Mark, but there was still this fear to get hurt or to hurt him, again. Was it really he right thing to marry him? Didn't he deserve someone better than her, someone who would never cheat on her husband? How could she be sure that after some years she wouldn't cheat on him like she'd done on Derek, or would he be able to change forever, to never sleep with a random nurse again? Her eyes were brimming with tears the more she though about all of it.

"Are you still doubting your decision? I've told you there is nothing to be unsure about." Alyssa apparently had woken up.

"Oh... I thought you were asleep..." Addison was irritated.

"Yeah, I was..." her sister said.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"she asked.

"No... it's not your fault." Alyssa told her.

"Okay..."

"Please don't be like that." the girl rolled her eyes.

"Like what?" her sister asked.

"Like you just did the biggest mistake of your whole life! You and Mark belong together, believe me that's as sure as 1+1=2!" she explained.

"Yeah, maybe... but here's the thing, why should it be different this time, why shouldn't we hurt each other? Maybe I'll cheat on him and put him trough pain no one should be put through. Maybe he and I only belong together in fantasy." Addison told her what was on her mind.

"Addison, you're freaking out... I won't hurt you and I'm sure you'll never hurt me. We've learned from our mistakes and I don't see any reason to not try it." Mark had stood outside the room and had heard every single word of Addison's speech.

"Mark what are you doing here... did you just hear that all?" She hadn't wanted him to hear about her doubts.

"Yes... but as I've said, you are the woman of my dreams, I love you more than everything else and I would die for you. Everyday without you is a lost day, it's a torture not to be with you and a future without you everyday by my side is unimaginable" Mark told her again.

"I... I also want you to be my future and honestly I really don't know why I'm doubting it. This was what I've dreamed of for so long and now I'm a stupid hysterically old woman doubting everything I've ever dreamed of..." Addison tried to explain.

"First of all, you forgot 'gorgeous' and then I have to say you are not old, and even if you were old, I would still love you." after a very long time he was now willing to fight for her.

"Oh Mark, I love you so much. Please don't leave me ever!" she fling her arms around his neck.

"So I suggest we go now? I know there is this little restaurant where we could have dinner." Mark wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Okay... so let's go. Bye Alyssa." Addison turned around to her sister a last time before the two of them went out of the room to have dinner.


End file.
